It all started with a simple realization, one that would shake the very foundations of spirituality as we know it. A whisper of wisdom, carried on the wind (quite literally), that revealed the hidden holiness of one of life’s most unappreciated movements: farting.
Yes, dear reader, while many seek enlightenment in meditation, fasting, or rigorous study, the true path to divinity was right under our noses all along. Or, perhaps, slightly behind us.
Let me explain.
When we breathe in, we take the sacred oxygen, the very breath of life itself. This divine air swirls through our sinuses, flows around our brain, and trickles down through the marrow of our bones, reaching even the deepest recesses of our being. It moves like an unseen serpent, coiling through our spine, wrapping itself in the sacred geometry of our nervous system. And just when we think we’ve used up this divine energy, the body, being the wise and efficient temple that it is, recycles it.
That’s right. The holy breath doesn’t just leave as a mundane exhale. No, no. Sometimes, it takes a different route, making its way downward, where it is blessed and anointed by the sacred alchemy of digestion. This is where the true magic happens. Through a process too profound (and perhaps too smelly) for mortal minds to fully comprehend, that same sacred oxygen is transformed into a holy flatulence, a spiritual expulsion, if you will.
And what is this, if not a movement of the Spirit?
Consider: in many traditions, the snake is seen as a symbol of divine knowledge, the Kundalini energy, the Holy Spirit in motion. It slithers through the body, awakening us to new understanding, filling us with its wisdom. And what better representation of that sacred, slithering movement than the very gas that winds its way through our intestines, preparing to announce itself in a triumphant burst of enlightenment?
The signs have always been there. The monks who sit in silent meditation, the yogis who practice breathwork, the prophets who listen to the wind, perhaps they all knew, deep down, that the holiest of movements is also the funniest.
So the next time someone scoffs at the humble fart, remind them: it is but the Spirit moving through the body, the breath of the divine, the sacred serpent making its presence known. And if enlightenment just so happens to sound like a rubber balloon deflating, well, who are we to question the mysterious ways of the universe?
Over and out.