Oh, government assistance! What a gift, what a blessing, what a truly magnificent system we have, where people are given the glorious privilege of “just barely not dying.” The powers-that-be in their infinite wisdom have crafted this flawless support system that makes sure millions can scrape by while teetering on the precipice of absolute ruin. Because why would anyone actually want stability or a roof over their head that doesn’t leak or, you know, reliable electricity or a cooker, That’s just unnecessary luxury.
People are generously awarded death boxes, oh, sorry, “homes” that could just as easily double as caves, with walls so thin they might as well be paper and absolutely no amenities, because comfort is for the privileged. And the income they’re provided, just barely enough to make the “Is today my eviction day?” game last all month long. Who needs the security of being able to pay bills anyway? The suspense is thrilling, right?
Let’s not even start on food—because wow, what an absolute delight it is to have a system where you can choose between sugar and more sugar, if you can get the finest off-brand canned beans! Then your lucky, long gone are the day where people can afford Heinz. Who needs fresh produce when sugar is a much cheaper alternative to food. Who needs good nutrition? And children? Sure, they’re growing up on ramen, chips, and anxiety, but the kids today are just soft. Surely a bit of hunger and poor health builds character!
Oh, and let’s talk about the “joy” of these areas. Calling them “kill boxes” is almost generous. These are communities carefully designed to keep people stressed, desperate, and miserable, like a reality show where nobody can actually afford to leave the set. And of course, high-stress living conditions are such a recipe for good health! If anyone gets sick, who cares? The waitlist at the free clinic is only three months, and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll be seen before anything fatal happens.
This is the sickness laid down by the “ones on high,” a system where poverty is not just perpetuated but expertly maintained, where hope is rationed out in small, often-delayed checks and where desperation has become routine. They sell it as “help,” but it’s just a leash. Isn’t it comforting to know there’s an entire apparatus keeping people right where they “belong”—trapped, struggling, and conveniently out of sight?
Oh, the government? Not doing a great job? No, no, they’re doing amazing, truly. Who else could take a problem, throw billions at it, add ten layers of bureaucracy, and somehow make it worse? It’s an art form, really. They’ve got this incredible skill where they can look at a solution, turn it upside down, and make sure it benefits exactly no one. And the best part? They’ll hold a press conference and pat themselves on the back for it, too.
Oh, absolutely! The government is far too busy with the critical task of playing human ladder, making sure everyone at the top has a cushy spot while the rest of us act as stepping stones. Every policy, every decision, it’s all part of the grand plan to keep the “important” people cozy while everyone below holds up the entire structure like unpaid interns in a collapsing pyramid scheme.
After all, it’s a tough job keeping the wealthiest happy and protected from the harsh realities of the world, so naturally, they need a little help from the rest of us…by which I mean they need us to just stay put, stay quiet, and watch as they sell us out one regulation at a time.
